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FAITHFUL AS GRANDPARENTS
Ruth 4:13-17
INTRODUCTION:
This week, in preparation for this
sermon, I have been pondering the role of grandparents. In the process, I was
reminded of some seasoned saints who were having coffee in their Sunday School
class.
"My arms are so weak I can hardly
lift this cup of coffee," said one.
"Oh that’s nothing; my cataracts are so bad I can’t even see my
coffee," replied another.
"Well, I can’t turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck," said a
third.
"My blood pressure pills make me
very dizzy," another went on.
"I guess that’s the price we pay for getting old," winced an old man.
There was general agreement and a short moment of silence.
"Well, it’s not that bad," said one woman cheerfully. "At least we can all
still drive!"
As age advances and life changes,
some people question if they still have a contribution to make. One of the
messages of the Old Testament book of Ruth is that God has a role for His
older children to play.
You are, no doubt, familiar with
the story that unfolds in the book of Ruth. Because of a famine in the land,
a young woman named Naomi moved from her home in Bethlehem to the country of
Moab. She, her husband and her two sons made that move. Shortly after they
moved to Moab, Naomi’s husband died and left her a widow.
Naomi’s two sons married local
Moabite women. After a few more years, both of her sons died. She now had no
blood relatives in Moab so she decided to move back to Bethlehem. She told
her two Moabite daughters-in-law to stay where they had grown up and remarry.
One of her daughters-in-law did what Naomi told her to do. The other, a young
woman by the name of Ruth, refused to leave her mother-in-law on her own. She
vowed to go back with her to Bethlehem. Undoubtedly you know what she said:
“Whither thou goest, I will go; wither thou lodgest, I will lodge. Thy people
will be my people and thy God, my God.”
After Naomi and Ruth got back to
Bethlehem, Naomi encouraged Ruth to marry a man by the name of Boaz. The book
of Ruth closes with these verses:
13
So Boaz took Ruth and she became
his wife. Then he went to her, and the
Lord enabled her to conceive,
and she gave birth to a son. 14 The women said to Naomi:
“Praise be to the Lord, who
this day has not left you without a kinsman-redeemer. May he become famous
throughout Israel! 15 He will renew your life and sustain you
in your old age. For your daughter-in-law, who loves you and who is better
to you than seven sons, has given him birth.”
16
Then Naomi took the child, laid
him in her lap and cared for him. 17 The women living there
said, “Naomi has a son.” And they named him Obed. He was the father of
Jesse, the father of David.
Following this text are five verses
of genealogy that fills in the gaps between Boaz’ great, great, great, great
grandfather and his grandson, David.
All of this may or may not be
interesting history to you. But at the very least, it raises an interesting
question. It may seem a strange question to raise, but the book of Ruth makes
us ask it: On the day of its birth is a baby more a child or a grandchild?
In other words, who is to be more congratulated, the parents or the
grandparents? For some reason the book of Ruth votes for the grandparents,
and it makes this passage one of the most powerful exaltations of a
grandmother you will find anywhere in human literature. It is almost as if
the goal of this book was to come to a happy ending with grandma Naomi holding
grandson Obed in her lap, and everybody singing her praises.
Note how suddenly the story of Ruth and Boaz comes to an end. Their romance
has dominated the stage for most of the book, but their wedding and 9 months
of pregnancy, and their whole life together is wrapped up rapidly in verse 13
of chapter 4. When Ruth gave birth to that baby boy, she and Boaz left the
stage, and the spotlight focuses on grandma Naomi for the closing scenes of
the story. There is not one more scene that includes the parents, for the
star of the show is now grandma. All of the praise and rejoicing now revolve
around her. Naomi has a kinsman- redeemer. Naomi has a comfort for her old
age. Naomi has a grandson, and they say she has a son.
This radical removal of the parents, and this thrusting of grandma and
grandchild front and center is a powerful revelation of just how important a
role grandparents play in the life of a child (or should we say, can play, or
should play?).
Here is a thought: every person in
the bloodline from Adam to Christ was a grandparent. The genealogy that
concludes this book is a list of people all of whom became grandparents. Obed,
the baby of Ruth, was the grandfather of King David. The book ends with a
special emphasis on grandparents and with a deliberate focus on Naomi. I
believe that in Naomi, we can see the model for Godly grandparenting.
Someone may point out that Naomi
was not Ruth's mother, but her mother-in-law, and so technically she was not
the grandmother of Obed. But just the opposite is the case. This first child
of Ruth and Boaz was to preserve the name and inheritance of Ruth's first
husband: Naomi's son Mahlon. Obed became equivalent to Mahlon's son, and
thus, technically it was Naomi’s grandson.
It would appear that God is into
genealogies and roots. And God is into grandparents. We can't cover all that
is precious about the grandparent-grandchild relationship, but we can look at
a few that are suggested by our text.
The three “R’s” of education were
said to be readin’, ‘writin’ and ‘rithmatic (none of which seems to be very
educated when you read it like that!). May I share with you the three “R’s”
of grandparenting?
I. RELATIONSHIPS
The first “R” of grandparenting is
RELATIONSHIPS. Ruth 4:16 says that “Naomi took the child, laid him in her lap
and cared for him.” Apparently Naomi invested herself in her grandson. She
gave him her time, her attention, her care. I suspect she gave him her heart,
too.
An 8-year-old wrote, “A grandmother
is a lady who has no children of her own, so she likes other people’s boys and
girls. Grandmas don’t have anything to do except be there. If they take us
for walks, they slow down past pretty leaves and caterpillars. They never say
‘Hurry up.’ Usually they are fat but not too fat to tie shoes. They wear
glasses, and sometimes they can take their teeth out. They can answer
questions like why dogs hate cats and why God isn’t married. They don’t talk
like visitors do which is hard to understand. When they read to us, they
don’t skip words or mind if it is the same story again. Everybody should try
to have a grandma, especially if you don’t have television, because grandmas
are the only grownups who always have time.”
“Grandmas are the only grownups who
always have time.” That may not be true. Grandmas may be pretty busy, too.
What this 8-year old may not have realized is that perhaps grandparents are
the only grownups who have their priorities sorted out.
I heard a grandmother give a talk
once. She said that she was always going to be busy, working, active and on
the go. Someone asked her if she intended to spend the holidays with her
grandchildren and she said, “Sure, if they can find me in the airport.” I
think she was joking. But I don’t think it is much of a joke.
Today’s parents are so stressed and
so stretched that grandparents are more important now than ever. The first
“R” for grandparents is RELATIONSHIPS. Be there for your grandchildren and
build relationships with them. Of course this requires the active cooperation
of your children (your grandchildren’s parents). You must not force yourself
into your grandchildren’s lives. But assuming the cooperation of their
parents, be there for your grandchildren and build relationships with them.
II.
ROOTS
The second “R” of grandparenting is
ROOTS. Help your children know where they came from.
The only reason I know for
including the book of Ruth in Scripture is so we can trace the roots of David,
the King of Israel and, ultimately, of Jesus, the King of Kings. Roots matter
that much. There is no way to trace the roots of King David and of Jesus
Christ apart from getting into the lives of grandparents.
This is true for all of us. It was
true for the only man in all of history who had two letters written to him,
which became a part of God's Word to the world. Those two letters are I and
II Timothy. One of the things we know about Timothy is that his Christian
faith had its roots in his grandmother. Paul tells it clearly in II Tim. 1:5,
"I have been reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your
grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and I am persuaded, now lives in
you.”
Paul made a major point of the roots of Timothy’s faith because, the fact is,
that Timothy’s grandmother had made a big difference in Timothy’s life.
Dr. R. Loften Hudson of the
American Association For Marriage And Family Therapy tells of one of
his clients who was working through her emotional problems. He asked, "Who
was the biggest influence in your growing up? With your father gone most of
the time, and your mother running around and getting drunk, who did you look
up to?"
"That's easy," she replied. "It was my grandfather and grandmother. I didn't
spend much time with them because my mother hated them. They were daddy’s
parents. But they loved me and told me so."
Dr. Hudson said, "How could they
have influenced you much when you seldom saw them?" She responded, "Oh, but
they believed in me. They made me believe in myself. I remember once my
grandfather talked to me and said 'Ellie, I want to tell you something. You
don't have to let your parents’ problems ruin you. There is something great
in you. There is no telling what you can become. The world out there needs
you.' I shall never forget that speech. He made me believe in myself."
Grandparents, you can have a
powerful influence even if you do not have many opportunities to build up your
grandchildren. You can help them find roots for their faith and for their
self-esteem
III.
RENEWAL
The third “R” of grandparenting is
RENEWAL. The grandchild- grandparent relationship is a two way street. The
child has as great an impact on the adult as the adult has on the child.
In verse 15 the women say of baby
Obed, "He will renew your life and sustain you in your old age." There
is something about a grandchild that can change the whole psychology of life,
and bring hope and joy to the forefront.
I have observed that having
children ages us but having grandchildren keeps us young. They renew our
vigor, our hopes and our dreams. In fact, grandchildren can make us become
the people we should have been but never really were for our own kids.
Pro. 17:6 records this universal
truth: "Children's children are a crown to the aged." Your children may
have kept you poor, but their children will make you rich. They renew your
spirit, and give you a whole new assignment in the world: loving, lifting, and
serving.
Until this scene where Naomi becomes a grandmother, her life has been one
trial after another. Life has been a burden, and she has suffered sorrow and
grief beyond the average. She has suffered the loss of her husband and two
sons. She has had to endure the life of poverty and despair. She has had to
bear the responsibility of caring for Ruth, and trying to get her established
in a home of her own.
When Naomi returned to Bethlehem
from Moab, her old friends saw her and said, “Can this be Naomi?” Now you
need to know that the name, Naomi, in the Hebrew means “pleasant”. Naomi
didn’t feel very pleasant after all she’d been through. So when her friends
said, “Can this be Naomi?” she replied, “Don’t call me Naomi, call me Mara”
because Mara meant “bitter”.
Naomi had little joy in this story
until this closing scene where she is grandmother. Now it is almost a
heavenly scene. All tears are wiped away, and there is a spirit of praise and
joy, for now her whole future looks bright because she has a grandson. Being
a grandparent renewed her life, her hopes and her dreams.
CONCLUSION:
Do not under estimate the
importance of grandparents in the lives of children…even if many miles
separate them. Godly grandparents have such a powerful impact on the lives of
grandchildren that it is not far from the mark to say that they can change the
course of history by touching the hearts of children.
An investigation into the famed 18th
century revival preacher Jonathan Edwards (1703-58) showed that, of the 1,394
known descendants of Jonathan Edwards:
100 became preachers and
missionaries,
100 lawyers,
80 public officials,
75 army and navy officers,
65 college professors,
60 physicians,
60 prominent authors,
30 judges,
13 college presidents,
3 United States senators,
and one a vice-president of the
United States.
Another man of that era, Max Jukes, a petty thief had:
310 descendants who died as
paupers,
150 were criminals,
100 were drunkards,
7 were murderers,
and more than half of the women
were prostitutes.
The role you play as grandparent
will be significant for future generations in this life and for the next.
Make sure it is significant in a positive way.
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