FAITHFUL AS SONS

(Various texts)

INTRODUCTION:

Every Mothers’ Day we see those reports that attempt to calculate the cash value of a mother’s contribution to a household.  For 2007, salary.com set the median figure for a stay-at-home mom at $138,095.  It is humbling to realize that salary.com says a stay-at-home dad is worth over $1000/month less than a stay-at-home mom.  Alternatively, you could say guys are a better bargain.

 

But to try to calculate the value of a parent like that is to apply the wrong standard.  God’s Word places honoring our parents right up there with honoring the Lord, our God.  Both the Hebrew and the Greek words for “honor” mean to assign worth or value to.  In God’s economy, He has assessed the value of parents as inestimably high.  And the question is, does your faithfulness honor your parents, whether living or deceased, as being of great value?

 

One of the ways that we demonstrate honor and express faithfulness is in the way we handle the transition from dependence to independence.  This morning we are going to look at four scenes in the life of Jesus to see what we can learn about how we can cut the aprons strings without breaking the bonds.  Mary and Joseph, his earthly parents, are in the first of those scenes but after that, there are no incidents in the biography of Jesus that include Joseph.  We are left to conclude that he probably passed away while Jesus was still a fairly young man.  So after the first of these four scenes, the parent with whom we see Jesus interacting is his mother but these incidents are still instructive for us in knowing how to relate to parents of either sex.

 

After the infancy of Jesus, the first time we read about him, we also read about Mary, his mother and her husband, Joseph.  On this occasion,

I.    JESUS ASSERTED HIS INDEPENDENCE WITHOUT BEING DISOBEDIENT  (Luke 2:41-52)

The first rite of passage for a child is the cutting of the umbilical cord soon after birth.  We all recognize that it is vital for the life of the child for the baby to be physically independent of his mother.

 

Likewise, later in life, it becomes necessary for the adolescent to become socially and emotionally independent of his mother and father.  And it is a wise parent who lets the child do so.  For instance, the expression, “tied to mother’s apron strings” is not complimentary to mother or child.

 

This is a difficult transition but a necessary one.  About the time children reach adolescence, they have a drive to assert themselves and to differentiate themselves from their parents.  This rite of passage can be stressful for parents as their children reject mom and dad’s style of music, mom and dad’s taste in fashion and mom and dad’s brand of entertainment.

 

What Jesus shows us is that we can assert our independence without being disobedient.  Take, for example, the incident when Jesus was twelve years old and Mary and Joseph had taken him to the temple in Jerusalem.  When it came time to go, Jesus was more interested in talking with the scholars at the temple than he was in tagging along after Mary and Joseph.  He got so engrossed in what he was doing that he lost touch with his parents -- -- for days!  And when they finally found him, Mary said, "Son, why have you treated us like this? Your father and I have been anxiously searching for you."

 

Jesus’ reply almost seems to show surprise.  He wonders why they had to search for him when they should have known he would have been in his Father’s house, engaged in his Father’s business.

 

Having asserted his independence, the next line says, “Then he went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them.”  Being independent does not have to mean being disobedient.  That is a lesson we can learn from Jesus that affects how we relate to our parents.  We can be independent, self-reliant and autonomous without being disobedient to our parents.  That is just as true for the adult child and his parents as it is for the adolescent son or daughter.

 

A second scene in which we see both Jesus and his mother is recorded for us in John 2:1-11.  There were learn that

II.    JESUS ASSUMED HIS IDENTITY WITHOUT BEING DISRESPECTFUL (John 2:1-11)

Jesus was the Divine-born Son of God whose mission was to bring the light of God to the dark world.  His unique character and unique calling required that he walk a solitary path that no one else had trod. 

There is a sense in which that same statement could be made for each of us.  We are not born to be the Savior of the world as Jesus was but we do each possess a unique character and a unique calling as individual as our fingerprints or our DNA.

 

People may tell us that we are just like our mothers or our fathers but that is probably a generalization and maybe even an exaggeration.  More accurately, we may remind them of one of our parents.

 

It is okay to remind someone of our parents – in fact it may be inevitable because parents have so much influence in our lives.  We may be reminiscent of our parents but we ought not to be replicas of our parents.  The person who sets out to replicate the life of a parent usually ends up being frustrated because his own individuality is thwarted.

 

The gifts God has given you are yours alone and they are what He knows you need to fulfill the mission to which He has called you.  Your gifts are not likely the same as your parents’ because your calling is not likely the same as theirs.

 

But having said all of that, we can assume our own identity, our own character and our own calling, without in anyway being disrespectful to our parents. 

 

May I remind you of the occasion of Jesus’ first miracle?  He and his disciples were guests at a wedding feast in Cana of Galilee.  Before the time for the wedding ran out, the wine for the wedding ran out.  Seeing the social crisis that was developing, Mary told Jesus about the problem.  Jesus replied, "Dear woman, why do you involve me?  My time has not yet come."

 

It may seem that Jesus was disrespectful of Mary when he addressed her, “Dear woman, why do you involve me?”  But in his culture, “dear woman” was a term of respect.  It was not rude but it was dissociative.  It was a term that showed that Jesus was separating himself somewhat from his mother.  He was assuming his own identity. 

 

Mary’s response to Jesus’ statement is to say to the servants, “Do whatever he tells you.”  Not, “Do whatever I tell you” but “Do whatever he tells you.  Mary realized that Jesus had his own identity, separate and distinct from hers.  And Jesus adopted that identity without being disrespectful to her in any way.

 

We should learn from Jesus’ example: we can be our own person without being disrespectful to our parents.  And, as parents, we can learn from Mary’s example: we can loose our child to be himself without losing our relationship with him.

 

A third time we see a family portrait that includes Mary and her Son is recorded in Matthew 12:46-50, Mark 3:20-35 and in Luke 8:19-21.  In this scene,

III.    JESUS ACKNOWLEDGED HIS IDENTIFICATION WITHOUT BEING DISHONORABLE (Mark 3:20-35 )

The event recorded in these Gospel accounts was a time when Jesus was in someone’s house.  Word had got around that Jesus was there and soon a large crowd gathered.  Because of the crowd, neither Jesus nor his disciples were even able to eat.  When Jesus’ family heard about it, they came to “rescue” him because they actually thought he was out of his mind.  The people in the crowd told Jesus, “Your mother and brothers are trying to find you.”  ³³ "Who are my mother and my brothers?" he asked.  ³⁴ Then he looked at those seated in a circle around him and said, "Here are my mother and my brothers!  ³⁵ Whoever does God's will is my brother and sister and mother."

 

Although at first it may seem like Jesus gave his family the brush-off, it wasn’t really like that.  His words reveal that he had established relationship with some people that made them like family to him.  These who believed in him and were being obedient to God were like brothers, sisters and mother to Jesus.

 

Some of you know exactly what that is like.  You have had the experience of finding an intimate kinship with other believers that makes them seem as close as family; or maybe even closer than family. 

 

When Jesus said that these people were his brothers and sisters and mother, he was not saying that he chose them instead of his real family; he was saying that a spiritual kinship identified them with his brothers, sisters and mother.

 

There is a challenge for us in this example.  Those of us who have become very attached to our Christian family need to know that this does not mean we have to reject our physical family because of that spiritual union.  It may well be that your physical family will reject you because of your stand for Christ but your stand for Christ should not cause you to reject them.

 

It is not that you leave one family to join another; your family enlarges to embrace those with whom you enjoy the most important bonds of shared values and shared faith.

 

The final scene of Jesus and Mary is the one recorded for us in John 19:25-27.  It is a scene painted with dark colors and stark images.  In the foreground is a cross on which hangs an innocent man.  At the foot of the cross kneels a brokenhearted mother enduring anguish no human should ever know.  It almost seems intrusive to pull back the curtain of time to witness this scene but we must for in this portrait we see an illustration of a lesson we must learn:

 

IV.    JESUS ACCEPTED THE INEVITABLE WITHOUT BEING DISINTERESTED (John 19:25-27)

²⁵ Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother, his mother's sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene.

²⁶ When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, "Dear woman, here is your son,"

²⁷ and to the disciple, "Here is your mother." From that time on, this disciple took her into his home.           (NIV)

What a tender scene.  Jesus, dying in agony on a Roman cross, in his last hours or life, made provision for his mother’s care.  He accepted the fact that he would not be able to be there for his mother as she grew older and as her need for care increased.

 

For many of us there will come a sad time when we have to make provision for the care of an aging parent.  That is a very difficult decision and a difficult transition.  But for many, it is an inevitability that we may as well accept.

 

Jesus’ example shows us that it is possible to accept this inevitability without being disinterested. 

 

When children have to place aging or infirmed parents into skilled-care facilities, they often struggle with feelings of guilt.  They wonder if they could have done more; they wonder if they could have waited longer.  Often, there is a fear that other people will judge them for having warehoused a loved one for the sake of their own selfish convenience.

 

The truth is that many times, the most loving and compassionate decision is to place a parent in an environment where skilled-care can be provided that the average person is incapable of giving.  But when that decision is made, it is very important for the family to retain interest and to maintain contact with the person who is admitted.

 

I cannot tell you the number of times I’ve visited with people in skilled-care facilities who tell me that they haven’t seen a family member for months.  On occasion, I’ve had the painful experience of performing the funeral of such a one where not one relative even bothered to come to the service.

 

If a residential skilled-care facility is inevitable for your parent (or any other loved one), you can accept that fact without becoming disinterested, disengaged and distant.  In fact, you must not become disinterested, disengaged or distant.  To do so is to violate the fifth commandment to “Honor your father and your mother.”

CONCLUSION: (Acts 1:12-14)

I said we were going to look at four scenes in the life of Jesus in which Mary is also present.  I want to look at one last scene that includes Mary, the mother of Jesus when her son is not visible in the picture.  It is recorded in Acts 1:12-14.

¹² Then they returned to Jerusalem from the hill called the Mount of Olives, a Sabbath day's walk from the city.

¹³ When they arrived, they went upstairs to the room where they were staying. Those present were Peter, John, James and Andrew; Philip and Thomas, Bartholomew and Matthew; James son of Alphaeus and Simon the Zealot, and Judas son of James.

¹⁴ They all joined together constantly in prayer, along with the women and Mary the mother of Jesus, and with his brothers.    (NIV)

 

To conclude our study of Jesus’ relationship with his parents without looking at this scene in Acts 1 is to end on a most somber note.  If the last picture we have of Mary is to see her at the foot of the cross, then we must remember her in unmitigated grief.  But that is not the last picture we have of Mary.  The last picture of Mary is found in Acts 1.

 

There were about 120 disciples of Jesus at this time.  Among them were his mother and his brothers.  These are the very people who, just a few months earlier, thought he was out of his mind, mad, deranged.  But now, a mere seven weeks after his death and resurrection, even his own family had come to believe that Jesus was the Messiah of God.  That fact gave his mother, his brothers and his sisters the chance to anticipate being together with Jesus for eternity.

 

Between the picture of Mary at the foot of Jesus’ cross and the portrait of Mary among the believers there is the fact of the resurrection.  Her son, once dead, is now alive!

 

Have you met Mary’s risen Son? Have you acknowledge him to be Lord of your life?  When you do, you can begin to enjoy a relationship with his family for eternity.

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